Cinder...fella

We long for them:  The mysterious knight and his majestic horse to save us from the towers of confinement.  The bad biker and the roaring engine that rattles our hearts or the affecianado with the smile that could kiss the ground in the winter time and make a flower grow.   It's no secret to men what the ladies want as we often sit with our chins rested in our palms dreaming of the "perfect" partner.   BUT who are these men underneath the cool exteriors?   Are they raging rivers? Are they gregarious geeks?  Are they mommas boys or daddy's descendants?   What is it they are masking with big engines, slick hair, hard bodies or inconspicuous character?   In short, what makes men, well, men?

The book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus is a solid read that explains the logical "fix -it" wiring of men versus the emotionally and mostly unforgotten mechanisms of females.   Certainly hormones play a viable role in what separates us from them, but I think there is something more to it.   Men are simple, we can all agree on that, or are they?   They are simple when it comes to weekend plans, dinner or what to wear and they likely just want a definitive plan and their friends to hang with.  However, I think I don't give our condensed counterparts enough credit.  

For me, I love a man with edge.   Confidence holds a fine line before exploding an ego so if done right, I'm putty.   I love the bad boy and the charmer. I love the tall ,dark and handsome and the analyzer.   This is a tall order for one man to accommodate.   I mean this isn't Weird Science and I don't have that capacity in my computer!   What if underneath every man's mask is just a man.  A real live person without an expectation or agenda.   What if our expectations of a man are so manufactured that it is penetrating their minds and causing them to act as something they are not?   Think about any person you have ever seen change.   For better or worse, what was their reason?   How well did they play that role?   How long did it last?   They may have changed to impress a lady, to gain recognition at work, to embrace their alter ego.   We have all done it to some degree and I think men may be stronger in the mental arena giving them a harder expectation to live up to.  Do not fail, right?   Wrong.  Men are just as sensitive to what they should look like and how intelligent they are expected to be.  I am reminded of "Screech" from Saved by the Bell.   The geek was always on the prowl to becoming the man of "Lisa Turtle's" dreams.   He relentlessly wracked his brain in attempt to figure out what she wanted in a man.   It was entertaining but tragic like watching Wil E Coyote continue to fall off of a cliff or combust at chance of catching the Roadrunner!  Screech, in the end was just Screech however his affinity to Lisa kept him on a wire to be something he is not.   He just wanted to Lisa, because she was Lisa.  Is it possible that Lisa's continued cold shoulder gave Screech the power to advertently reinvent himself to her liking?   Is it possible that most men react similarly?

I think we all wear a mask to cover who we are.   It seems to have become the staple of humanity.   Always climbing up and we must act if we want to do.   Poppycock!   I'd rather find that my dream boat boy is genuinely himself, a geek to boot, and the confidence that allows him to embrace his nerd is far sexier than any motorcycle.   Besides I'm an athlete and engines on your bike is just cheating.   My point is for the men out there:  drop the tough guy attitudes, the debonaire diatribes and the testosterone talk-fests and let us see the real you.   Cinderella, after all, melted away at midnight and all that was left was her, a servant with a sureness.