Strong Women

Strong.   How do you define the word?   How did you come to that definition and why?   If I were going to draw a picture of strong it might be an "Omega" sign.  If I wanted to see a picture of strong I might see a person with an abundance of hypertrophy.   Yet when I use the word strong as an adjective to women my perspective shifts and I am flooded with millions of images, circumstances and a little wit to soften my aggressive thoughts on the matter.  Lady Gaga, uncanny but strong.   Wonderwoman, supernatural but strong.  The full conglomeration of my girlfriends- all strong.  
I'm thinking on another wavelength today as I am troubled by my friends' troubles.   Yet as I have cleared my head in attempt to give my best advice to all four of these women, I have realized that their stirs are their strengths.  I believe that the challenges we face, even if we created them, are the very lessons that present our life strength.   I'm not positive inner strength can be measured in pounds or milligrams or money or manipulation, but what it takes to retain contentment with ourselves.
I'm recalling four close friends who have, after much contemplation, have left their unhappy and unfulfilling relationships to move FORWARD in their lives.  That is strong!  They are undoubtedly feeling moments of weakness and perhaps cowardice, but it is their determination to live a great life that inspires me.   No doubt people will cast stones, but unless you are trapped IN a glass house, maybe you shouldn't. 
 I am reminded of my friends who have children with special needs. Having no children except a hyperactive Great Dane, I can only think I can imagine what it must be like to wake up and care hand and foot on another human being for the rest of YOUR life.  The worries of others that might ridicule or be fearful of these children and who will watch after them long after their parents are gone.   I left for 9 days and worried myself into a frenzy about a dog.  What would it be like with a child?  I solute the women (and men) that show their strength to their children day after day without complaint.   Strong!
I am reminded of a young lady and triathlete, Liz, that lost her sister then her boyfriend in one defeaning crash.  The courage it took for her to stay true to herself and allow her friends supportand her beliefs guide her way, was inarguably strong.   I still wonder how she keeps living,racing  and trusting without any visual sign of defeat.   Strength!  She is one of my biggest inspirations and for her model of strength, I am grateful. 
I am reminded of my friend Nicole, that moved away years ago from our sad little provincial town, alone, and never looked back.  She finds strength everyday to wake up, go to the gym, go to work and be one of the most selfless people I know.   Without her strength I know I couldn't have made it.

  As I become clearer on who my friends are, I am fortunate also to have Gretchen, a fellow triathlete ut an even bigger role model.  The old saying " When life throws you lemons..."is the epitomy of her.  No matter what the situation, she makes a mean glass of lemonade!  I've yet to see her lose her cool, and what's better than a cold glass of lemonade? 

 How could I forget my soul sister Erica?  She is a true symbol of rags to riches.   In the time I have known her, she has worried herself into a blunder on the tides of being a business owner now only to be surfing the successful highway of entrepreneurship and coming nto her own life- as SHE wants it.

Strength.   I have sat here thinking of all the ways strong can be illustrated and I am humbled by its humble nature.   Strong is what you or I do when noone else is looking.  It is who we are and who we have the courage to be.   It is the voice in your head beating the hell of the villain that opposed you.   It is the focus, the drive, the "oh what the hell go for it anyway".   It is my favorite quality in people as it takes on countless personas.  It is Debbie and Shayna and how their mother /daughter relationship will indefinitely thrive superceding their lifespans and pass on to their children.

  It is my mother, perhaps one of the strongest I have known, who worked more than she saw her children, who lost more than she gained, who was the "black sheep" but rose to the occasion and raised us all on her own.   My mother, who always served herself last masking poverty from us, bought us a home, and sent us out on our own to become- strong. 

I have not felt particularly strong lately and I know it is short lived.  Whn I see the strength from those around me under the pressures they have, and yet they still rise to the top, I am epowered.   I felt inclined to make a blog about them, and draw my strength from them.   I hope they don't mind that I have put it into words.   "Don't ever think one person can't change the world, for that is all who ever have"- Margaret Mead

Hey, What's goin' on?

It is mid August and I have been in Houston or "the dirty south" for about 6 weeks now.   I spent the first few weeks getting acquainted with I-45 and  surrounding super targets, as well as making friends and socializing with  local triathletes.    Houston is a fast paced city and it has  Austin attitude.  Although I didn't expect Houston to fit my fancy, I have grown quite comfortable and pleased with what it has to offer...especially since the beach is minutes from the house!

                                                                Mandy came down for a beach day

I've experienced quite a few  unique restaurants, and Boondoggles gets my vote for best in class!  They employ an eclectic yet satisfactory staff, are located on the water and of course Bella-friendly.  They also have arguably the best spinach salad  and margherita pizza in the south!

Bella and me at Boondoggles

I have become quite familiar with two Houston tri communities, HRTC and BAM!  Both organizations host swim, bike, run workouts on a weekly basis and I do my best to frequent as many as possible.  The hardest workout I do all week is called the "Paperclip".  It is so geniously named after the 22 mile loop shape like...a paperclip.   This event isn't for the weak, on the contrary, it is all "roadies".   Although nice individuals, they take off at lightening speeds and if you blink, you'll be on your own.   I ride like a bat out of hell just to stay close, however drafting is illegal in triathlon so peletons are not for me!   To that point, I do believe I will be ready for the Summertime Blues sprint tri and planning to make it to Dallas for the US Open in October.   I am also toying with competing in the Longhorn 70.3 this season...just for giggles.  
I spent hours researching and put my networking fingers out there when a good friend of mine from D.C. suggested I apply at Timberline Fitness in the midtown area.   He's one of the most intuitive people I call a friend, so I did!  Low and behold the stars were aligned and the moon was high because Timberline owner Dean Theriot had been a client of my MAT founder and creator years ago and was sold on the idea of bringing me on! This past weekend I gave a symposium for anyone who wanted a closer look at MAT.   I must say, I was concerned only few would show up, but ended up standing room only!   I am fortunate to have such a supportive group to work with and can not wait to see what else we will accomplish together!

                                                                                a glimpse inside Timberlne

Reviewing my notes before the presentation

While I have settled in seemingly well, there are pieces of Dallas I miss, mostly people honestly.   One of the biggest lessons I have learned during my transition is who my friends are.   I was surprised to see exactly how many people offered an ear or similar appendage and likewise which ones did just the opposite.   In any case, humble pie never tasted so sweet. I appreciate the lesson.

This weekend Iwill be heading to Pagosa Springs, CO for some serious altitude training, hiking and camping, and of course R&R!   Stay tuned for my next epic adventure!!!!

                                                                               Carrie, Gretchen, and me at Kung Fu

Can you spare some "change"?

I have been polling the audiences of my fellow coworkers, colleagues, athletes and just good ol' fashioned friends about the concept of "change".   I'm not talking about the pennies I "accidentally" throw out the window or the nickles and dimes I find in the laundry- although I love finding quarters!   I'm talking about that dreadful point at which a decision needs to be made or a decision has been made and now we get to either move in the same direction or crawl back into our shells and hibernate hoping that storm will pass us by, untouched.   "Some change is good, some change is bad" from the lips of one of my best friends.   Although I shook my head in agreement, I was really nodding in understanding her thought process.  Change, in reality, is a perception.   It's a word.  How can it be good or bad?  It is only what it is, and doesn't deserve such a bad rap.   However, for arguments sake, I say change is change and am coming to understand why so many are resistant to it.   Change comes in all forms: career change, time change, change in physical appearance, change a diaper, change a tire, change your mind, change your boyfriends or your underwear- although these two may be synonymous, change your life.   It has become rather apparent to me that even the most free of minds does not adhere to the qualities that change can bring.   Think about all the times you've said " I am so ready for a change" or " a change is gonna come".   What did you really mean by that?   Where you really ready for a change?   If you did actually change, what was the intention behind it?   Ive been pondering this change thing more closely this week as I have made quite a few changes.   I broke up with my boyfriend, moved to Houston, joined another triathlon team, made some new friends and even rided myself of "friends", I started a new job and see the world much differently given my current circumstances.  Most who know me aren't surprised that I would make so many decisions all at once, however, many would think I've lost my nerve.   I would say to those "did I ever have it"?   HAHAHA.  I've been thinking on each of my decisions individually and really weighed out why I changed so much and what my reasons were.   I have realized that I love change, I also realize that I love to think I love change.   Truth is, I do wonder if each decision was progressive to my ultimate goal or if it was knee jerk and based on emotion.   Whatever the answer to that question is, is irrelevant, as that is what I decided and I do not live on auto pilot or sit and analyze things until I am in a state of chronic paralysis.   The point I am making is that change can be uncomfortable, if we let it.   It can be bad, if that is how we see it.   It can also be the best decision we've ever made.   Moving to Houston ruffled some feathers, not mine, but there were definitely some angry birds.   I wondered why they were so bitter or what had I done.   Realistically, it was the change.   Houston isn't my dream city, but it is the next step in getting to my dream city.  Sure I miss the people in Dallas, but the ones who really care will not allow proximity to define our relationship.   Further, change is a mere excuse for being out of the comfort zone.  Pish posh.   Change and the willingness to allow change can make for some great adventures and life long lessons.  For example, breaking up is never easy to do, but if you stay in a relationship where mediocrity is at its best, you may miss your prince/princess.   We KNOW when we are happy and when we are not, yet so many times we stammer around in that situation sacrificing our livelihoods just to appease the outsiders or the general vibe of society.  
For me, I am going to embrace change just to make myself more uncomfortable.   I am going to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and expect the unexpected  because the "only thing that stays the same is that everything changes".

Better Here than There...

Once again my thoughts were sparked not only by some frequent and  relentless conversations I eaves dropped in on, but also my visual acuity as I entered my neighborhood 24 hour fitness yesterday.   While I could completely get on a  quite warranted diatribe about fitness and what it takes to be an athlete or a fitness competitor, I really want to reach out to the "normal" people out there.   The ones that struggle  just to get to the gym, THINK they are eating healthy, and  those that believe they are so far off the wagon they may as well just keep that direction until perhaps they come full circle...The world is round, right?  
So often in my field I hear a variety of reasons people refuse to take time for themselves.   I am reminded of one client specifically.   Perhaps she is the modern day Mother Theresa: always doing and going and giving and planning and praying and, and, and...  Of course there was not any time left for her to (GASP) work out!   Long story short, if all my clients trusted in themselves and, here's my plug, me, as she has, they would all be experiencing the quality of life as she is.  I'd lik to extend this accolade to Debbie Weinstein.   However, my point is that I saw a group of morbidly obese ladies gathering around the pool lane as if they were actually going to do some moving.   Yes,  as I sat there waiting for my coach and team mates to arrive, I analyzed every one of those women.   Oversized swim suits similar to house dresses, vericose veins and ecchymosis, edema, inflammation, stretched and tranluscent skin tone, and a repugnance that would send a bear back to the woods.   They gather around arms folded, big gulps close by ( this is not a joke), and talking about superficial things yet never heard anything the others had said.   Of course my mind was in a tale spin.  One lady in particular must have been "on her way out" as she could barely walk and had an oxygen tank attached.  She said very little.   I couldnt help but wonder all the illness she was beig treated for...and the illness she wasn"t aware of yet.   I wonder how long it took her to realize she was doing harm to her lfe.   What affected her and held on to her sense of worth that lead her down this road?   I wondered what she ate all day and how many pills she had to take and how she remembered all of them.  On a larger scale, like attracts like, and they were alike.   After 30 minutes or so, one leader attested she was exhausted and going home for dinner.   Now, I am empathetic to those who can not move because their body will not allow it. I just came off an injury and 4 months later I still struggle with my athletics.   But how is it that speaking for 30 minutes has become a workout?   How is it that one day, if ever, you wake up and standing (due to your own negligence) has become your goal for the day?
This prelude brings me to the topic "Better here than there".    I chose this as not a means to suboordinate those ladies, but that all too often I convince myself and even judge others, and mainly women, on our appearances.   We all do it, I'm just admittig it.   When I think about how fortunate I am that my legs work, my arms move, and my heart is beating, suddenly running a sub 3 hour marathon doesn't hold much weight.  I have been quite frustrated with my capabilities since my accident, however, I am humbled by the vicious old woman who would love to be able to swim as "fast" as I am currently.  I couldn't stand 2 months of being off from workouts for recovery, these woman have been off for years!   
While I realize I am looking at others' misfortune  with a concerned tone, I also reach out to these peple on a daily basis.  I will go a step further to say it is NOT just the ones that are over weight or drowning in pharmaceuticals, but it is also the teenie weenies, the elites athletes and the middle men.   It is all of us.    We all battle ourselves over and over.   We battle each other.   My big premonition is: if I work out, eat right and never change an inch or a millimeter, I'm certain I'll be ok with that.   I'm healthy and working on  inner peace.   I'm better off never changing (physique) than going the wrong direction.   You are also better off right where you are than falling a slippery slope downhill as age becomes less and less a friend.  In closing take a step forward and evaluate who you are and why you are doing ...whatever it is you are doing.   If you are an athlete- great.   It doesn't make you better than anyone.   If you struggle with getting to the gym- it's only as hard as you make it but it also does not define you.  Remember the slippery slope.  Thanks  again for reading...
Completely unrelated sidenote: Congratulations to my friend and elite athlete Bradley Pigage on being the #3 America in the Military World Championships.   Well done, sir!

"True Grit"

Today...and the past few days I've been thinking about the word "grit".   What does it mean?   What does it mean to you?   What does it mean to me?   If we are able to erase the perimeters of what is "right or wrong" and jus assess what is, then we can learn a lot from each other.   I have recently encountered some emotionally feelings of self doubt and self worth.  We all have these moments of weakness, but then I am reminded of what it means to be gritty.    A few years ago I started cycling.   Now I will not entertain even the slightest title of being a cyclist but I had a bike and some legs, everything else was grit.   I joine an all guys team and they nicknamed me "Gritty not Pritty".   While I basqued in that compliment, there was only a slight understanding of what grit truly is.  "Firmness of character; indomitable spirit" as defined by dictiuonary.com.   For some it means juggling the details of lfe: work, family, workouts and anything else tha might advance your way.   Grit may be looking adversity in the face when all you aim to do is please others.   Perhaps it is tking a flying leap into a new buisness venture or quitting a job that is infinitely suboordinate to our main focus.   For me, grit is being able to stay grounded in who I am, why I am and where I come from.  I often times think  am a bit abrasive or too ballsy , and to you maybe I am.   However nothing I have ever done has been easy.   It was not easy to be a neophyte to cycling and the only girl on a men's team ( story of my life).   I chose to bring this up as all too often we are at the mercy of judgement and fall prey to the mainstream ways of doing things even if we don't necessarily buy into it.   I challenge myself not to fall into autopilot and conform to what has always been done and with the aire of "inspiration" at the forefront of my mind, I also challenge you... to be gritty.   If it is ice cream for breakfast that you desire- eat it.   If it is health you want- do it.   If it is a phenomenal relationship or career that drives you, then damn it, put yourself out there without a fear of failure.  It is only what you choose to make out of life that you will receive.   On the flip side of that, I am also challenged not to make my way the only way.   There has never been only one way to achieve something.   Look to others for lessons to be learned or ideas to be created.   Two heads are better than one!   Today my gritty fce is showing.  Tomorrow it will still show.   I am confident in the decisions that I make, even if they do not meet society's approval .  So, take this grit with a grain of salt...pun intended...and go be you!  It is my firmness of character that defines me even if it is ever-evolving.  Place truth in your heart  or head and stay gritty... That is all!  

In-Jenn-New-ity First Release

It's a cold day in July for sure.   This is the inaugural entry to a new chapter in my life:  In-Jenn-New-ity.   I chose to create this page as I respect the amount of time it takes to write such events in life.  I respect those who open themselves and their hearts up to the world even as judgement and ridicule may be lurking closer than normally comfortable. 
Blogging has a therapeutic element to it not only harnessed by the author but by the audience. I read at least 10 blogs a week andi always declare I will start my own.  However, if any of you actually know me, I shy away when the thought of being "discovered" or "judged" presents itself.  I am muc more familiar with "coy".   This being said, my true self knows where and when I have wronged, what mistakes I have made, and of course, the lessons I have learned.  
I chose the name as it is inarguably a play on  the word ( my truest wit) of "ingenuity"  and my name.    When I referenced the definition it read "the quality of being cleverly inventive or resourceful; inventiveness: a designer of great ingenuity. "   I am envious of this word, and those who naturally relate,  as I have never possesed  these qualities.   Sidenote:  this is MY blog and my own judgements of self, so this is the world as I see it.  I'd love to have the mind of a genious or the brain in which will cure a terminal disase.   I'd love to be able to access my resources to create something "priceless"  that I shall forever be remembered.   I would  be at the mercy of the feet of one that refered to me as inventive!   Alas, I am working towards using more than 10% of my brain and matching my intellect with the capacity at which I use my heart. 
I am a BIG picture person...an admin...a "doer".   I tend to fall in the role of the leader and the shot caller.  All great qualities to boot, but it does come with a price.   I am able to see many colors but I default back to my favorties: black and white ( and pink).   I have seldom been a dreamer or detail oriented only to get things done.   I admire those who catch the cinematography in a movie, think of ways to mend unconventionals,or even just add a tip to the nearest dollar.  It is my quest to relaease myself from the control that  once seemed so important and learn to dream for myself.  This is just the first minimal step to unleashing my inner self and I know you will enjoy the ride.   Fasten your seat belts because it's going to be in-jenn-ious!